DARK SKIN
I was born this way, deep and rich in a coco pigmentation of my exterior. I am the result of sun kissed bliss that is my heritage. Yet here in my environment in a place of comfortableness among peers, with similar cultures as mine I am degraded to being “Pretty for a Dark skin girl.” And THAT is how it all began.
In fact that seems to be a universal phrase towards darker African-American women. It’s not even the saying itself that bothers me. It’s what it represents. First of the all, the people saying it actually find it to be acceptable. Do you realize you are telling me “You sure are nice looking for someone that’s so black.” Insinuating that black is the equivalent of Ugly. As if I am some exception to a rule. Black is beautiful. Haven’t you heard? Still none the less as we humans sometimes do, this caused me to ask myself questions in regards to the nature of black beauty. So what is considered beautiful if not I? That’s when I began my self-righteous hell bent negativity towards my light-skinned counter parts.
Ever since High school I would “throw shade” at them. I spoke avidly and got into heated debates of how their beauty is over-rated, how it is easier for them to get jobs or opportunities and how they acted as if they were superior to Dark skin sisters. Quite frankly I walked around pissed at them for years. Because I was fed-up! Every time I turned on the radio it was “Red bone long hair” this and “caramel” that. Even the most prominent pop cultural figures (i.e. Beyoncé, Tyra banks) were all I saw. I felt as though I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t light-skinned. I wanted my voice to be heard too. I was tired of being pre-judged. I remember once someone said. “You know, you are alright for a dark skin girl. You aren’t ghetto and dirty like the other ones I know.” What the HELL? The ignorance just sickens me.
Ironically I always found myself being best friends with people of a lighter complexion. Not in a compensation type of way either. It would naturally happen. But that didn’t change my feelings about how I was treated as a chocolate sister or the way I felt about “them”. In fact my friends would have to take daily lashings of my underhanded comments. “Your yellow self” or “you know the only reason that happened is because you’re light-skinned”. Daily debates would be me and my best friend vocalizing our view points that we were so sure the other could not possibly understand. Then one day on twitter the light skin dark skin conversation began. I wasn’t a part of it though I was merely a spectator and in that moment it hit me.
What were we all doing? Nothing but throwing hate towards each other when we both were experiencing the same struggle! We were breeding each other’s ignorance. I use to say “You don’t understand my struggle because you are light skinned and what you are dealing with is different, therefore you can’t walk in my shoes,” but I was wrong. When it comes down to it we are all being judged by the color of our skin. Literally, the color, not simply by our race but by how much pigmentation we were born with. It’s sad in all honesty. This is not a modern day problem it’s deeply rooted. Back during times of slavery slave owners would always try to “divide and conquer” physically separating darker and lighter slaves which caused a mental separation to fester. A hundred years later we are still being divided.
It is drilled so deep within our conscious that we don’t even see it. We are so busy fighting to be heard that we don’t realize we are both saying the same thing. I had to stop looking at it as “them” because black is us. Black Is beautiful. That includes the different browns, chocolates, caramels and cappuccino colors that we are. The diversity among is the things that’s destroying us but it should be bringing us together. Instead of focusing on tearing each other apart we need to embrace one another. We do not decide the complexion we are given at birth we have no control over that. Let’s stop focusing our attention on hating one another and try to better ourselves. Accept that which you are. This argument does not need to continue because either way it will be an empty victory. When I look at my best friend now I don’t judge her based on who she is beyond her exterior because I see her based on the character she has spent her life building. Yes she is light skinned. She can’t change that and shouldn’t want to. She was born that way.
LIGHT SKIN
At first, I didn't understand the "difference". As a matter of fact, I didn't even know the "difference" existedBut I found out at an early age. It was abruptly brought to my attention by the infamous quotes I became accustomed to throughout my whole life.
"She didn't deserve that, she only got it because she was light-skinned."
"She’s not cute; she's just light skinned with hair."
Even members of my own family, saying that me and my male counterpart were only awarded valedictorian and salutatorian in kindergarten class because my teacher favored "yellow" kids. Confused, I thought it was because I worked the hardest and actually deserved it.
And it only got worse since then.
The light skinned/dark skinned subject became a major part of my life. I was constantly defending myself and other people of my color that the things that we were given, we deserved, scholastic awards or not, we had to work just as hard as everyone else.
My arguments were always corrupted by the media. With songs blaring lyrics such as "I like a long haired thick red bone," and front covers of magazines always broadcasting people of lighter skin, I was always felt the need to eat my words.\
Even I felt ashamed to proudly claim my skin complexion, whereas my best friends were free to announce that they were "cocoa" and "a beautiful chocolate complexion"
I felt the need to do things to prove that I was capable DESPITE my complexion, instead of owning it.
I realized that I didn't work as hard as everyone else, I worked TWICE as hard so people could look past that, and still got hit with,
"She’s JUST light skin. That’s the ONLY reason."
I started to then think that people of darker complexions were bitter of what the media was doing to them, but were taking it out on everyday people.
I had the attitude of "this wasn't my fault, so why do I get the back lashing for it?"
A friend of mine once said that my idol Lena Horne, was not a true civil rights activist because she "Looked white anyway."
Lena Horne did not use her complexion to her advantage. She would not accept any special treatment that her whole race couldn't use.
A "we are all in this together" attitude that I love.
Sadly this is a struggle that the whole African-Americans are going to continue to face until we learn to realize that are not a race of dark and light, but a race of many different skin complexions working towards one common goal. People need to stop judging someone's credibility by the lightness or darkness of their skin, but of their true character.
We will continue to be enslaved by the notions that slavery has put on us until we learn to put color behind us.
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